S3:E1 — Stephen Merchant

When I was a child my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes' which at the time I assumed meant that he bought a waterbed... but then I found out he had been killed and his body buried at sea.

My father was recently diagnosed with shingles which is a terrible sickness that usually only affects roofs.

Hotel Rwanda has a great score on Rotten Tomatoes but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

Growing up I had a dog with an eating disorder, he wouldn't eat my homework.

I want to take this moment to endorse podiums.

Now, that's a product I can stand behind!

I don't understand why LA is struggling to provide better public transportation when my neighbour Rich offers free moustache rides every night.

A young Zika mosquito went out flying for the first time, when he came back his father asked 'How was it?' The young mosquito replied 'Great, everyone was clapping for me!'

Do you know what Adam Eget has in common with a guitar player? They both like fingering minors.

Hillary has the support of the Orlando terrorist's Dad, Trump has the support of white supremacist groups. I can't decide who I support until the Zika virus weighs in.

Playboy magazine has done away with the nude photo layouts altogether.

In other words they've eliminated ladies in the altogether altogether!

How come the term 'adult toy' always refers to something you can shove up your asshole and never like a big racecar?

When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes spread eagle and fucked, fucked hard like a fuckin' real tramp...

I had an uncle, mean guy, he was a prize fighter. He once broke both of his hands in a fight against a washer-dryer he won on 'The Price is Right'.