S2:E1 — Ray Romano

Scientists now say that trout can communicate with each other with subtle physical gestures.

Wow. Just when you thought trout couldn't get any more fascinating.

Mondays aren't actually worse than any other day according to a group of researchers who've never read a Garfield comic.

Archaeologists excavating a trash pit at the Jamestown Colony site in Virginia have found direct evidence of human cannibalism. It's believed to be the first historical occurence of someone eating a bag of dicks.

Two women accused of using sorcery have been beheaded in a remote village in Papua New Guinea. A team of police rushed to the scene but were forced to stand by and watch the victims being decapitated by axes as locals refused to let them come to their aid. If you ever go to a remote village in Papua New Guinea, at all costs avoid using sorcery!

A Las Vegas woman was arrested after hiding a stolen Rolex in her vagina. Wow, now Bruce Jenner's just gone too far.

Bill Clinton says he wouldn't be surprised if some day we are visited by aliens from outer space.

Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton said: "Shouldn't you be getting a blowjob somewhere?"

Las Vegas is now home to a 550ft tall ferris wheel.

Also drawing thousands to Las Vegas?

Whores!

Health officials in Texas raided the home of 60 year old sisters and found over 100 cats. The cats are named Bootsy, Lola, Tippy, Cornelia, Fluffy, Minerva, Ringo, Jasper, Charlie, Spanky, Snooks, Doodle, Wally Happy-pants, Zeke, Veronica, Dolly, Clyde, Ajax, Rusty, Puff-ball, Snuffy, Sylvia, Mr. Moody, Leonardo, Zeke, Tawana, Evinrude, Nimrod, Sylvester, Skee-ball, Toots, Jupiter, Lady Agatha, Murgatroyd, Lula-belle, Newton, Felix, Smurfette...

The street drug 'Special K' has been found to be an excellent treatment for depression. This according to the New England Journal of Gary Busey.