S2:E3 — David Spade

After being drafted into the 7th round by the Rams, Michael Sam kissed his boyfriend. The celebration didn't end there because on ESPN2 there was full insertion.

This week I learned that cum tastes like nickels.

A study has found that the average high school prom go-er now spends $1000.

Or $2000 if you count the abortion.

A Westchester parking enforcement officer stole $89,000 in quarters. How much laundry does this guy need to do?

The man behind the voice of Tony the Tiger died at 64.

His last words?

"I don't feel Grrrrrr-eaaaat!"

Two strangers were arrested for having sex on a plane. How about that?

You know who I feel sorry for?

The guy in the middle seat.

Neil Patrick Harris posed nude for the cover of Rolling Stone except for a hat hanging off his weiner. And this morning Adam Eget woke up and said "Hey where's my hat?"

We are living in a golden age of Adam masturbating to inter-racial granny porn.

Dr. Dre announced that he's the first hip-hop billionaire, a regular J. Paul Ghetto!

All the charities that Donald Sterling donated millions of dollars to are giving it back to him.

Well, that'll show him.

To stop a pitbull attacking his daughter a Texas man bit the dog. That's an interesting story, but it's not what I would call news.

The search continues for the missing Malaysian airliner. In related news a plane was spotted by some cavemen in the year 365BC.

A man in Chipata, Zambia allowed a hyena to eat his penis after being told by a witch doctor it would help him to become rich. Is it me or does it sound like that hyena and witch doctor were in cahoots?