S2:E10 — Roseanne Barr

Harriette Thompson, 91 finished running the Rock'n'Roll Marathon in San Diego in just over 7 hours, becoming the oldest person to complete a marathon, and setting a world record for the fastest time in her age group. The previous record was set by Mildred Kennelworth who died during mile 1.

Kim and Kanye celebrated their daughter North West's one year birthday by throwing a big party with jugglers, a bouncy house and a ferris wheel. The bad news is that North West is a baby and it doesn't know what the fuck is going on.

A study has found that men are just as likely as women to spread gossip. At least that's what I heard Rick tell Brad, who by the way has a crush on Patty.

Hey Madonna says she's planning to remake the movie 'Casablanca'. Finally! Someone is going to get it right!

Here's a really easy way to figure out if you're taking too many meds: You refer to your medication as 'meds'.

The only things certain in life are death, taxes, and getting caught whacking off in a Target dressing room.

Hey, you're not going to believe this, but Bill Maher is giving away the solution to all our problems... for free!

Know who's even crazier than cat ladies? Snake ladies!

Workers at a Harvard University library have discovered a book that's bound with human skin.

They were able to determine the part of the body that the skin came from after it was grabbed by a sexy librarian and immediately expanded to 3 times its size.

When Gwyneth Paltrow says that being a movie star is harder than working a 9-5 job, she knows, because she spent years clearing heavy debris from demolition sites - oh no, wait - this just in - Gwyneth Paltrow has never done shit!

I'm the Ray Allen of my local Applebees because I'm always nailing 3s.

Alex Trebek set a Guinness world record for most game shows hosted. The previous record was: Who gives a fuck?

Three children were injured when a cannon exploded during a Civil War re-enactment. To keep things authentic, the children had their limbs sawed off with rusty hacksaws.

President Obama in a speech this past week said that we should solve the nation's bee problem.

Oh, God, we elected a guy who sympathizes with BEES?

Presidential Fact: Barack Obama is the first president to ever say the 'N' word as a term of endearment.