S2:E4 — Carl Reiner

A tractor-trailer flipped over releasing millions of bees, which stung the driver hundreds of times. Speaking from the hospital, the driver said:

"No flowers?"

I realized in therapy that I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of living.

Oh no, I'm afraid of dying!

A penny earned is nothing to brag about.

Police in Tennessee arrested a teenage girl when they found a loaded gun in her vagina. When questioned, the boyfriend said "I guess that explains why my cock kept getting blown off"

Months later, we still haven't found Malaysian Airlines Flight 370.

This looks like the work of Joran van der Sloot!

A 28 year old med student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For three hundred thousand dollars you can have the worst sex of your life!

George Clooney is engaged. The rich and handsome 53 year old told reporters "It's time for me to settle down and start officially cheating on a heartsick and disillusioned spouse."

Now I don't know much about geopolitics, but that is one cool name for a country: 'Chad'.

Kidnapped schoolgirls in Nigeria are being forced to marry their captors. I'm glad to hear these kidnappers are old-fashioned.

Some of the 200 Nigerian schoolgirls kidnapped by extremists in Nigeria have been forced to marry their kidnappers.

Worse than that, they've been forced to laugh at their husband's stories even after hearing them for the umpteenth time.

If I had a gun to my head and had to pick a vice presidential candidate to have sex with, I would choose Sarah Palin. And Spiro Agnew.