S2:E11 — Marc Maron

A 89 year old Washington man fought off a robber with a golf club, though to be fair, the only reason the guy was swinging a golf club was because he mistook the robber for the grim spectre of death.

A Pakistani father stoned his daughter to death for marrying a man of her own choosing.

Which means Pakistan's tourism board is going to have to come up with a new slogan to replace "Come to Pakistan! Three whole days without anyone being brutally stoned to death by their own Father!"

It's kind of a weird feeling watching the Flintstones lately, with their stone-age drive-in movies, and their caveman bowling... it just seems so dated!

A cowboy at a rodeo in Georgia used his lasso to apprehend a gunman. At least, that's according to a recent segment of America's hottest new game show: 'Georgia Police Blotter or Episode Synopsis from Walker Texas Ranger?'

An Orlando police officer's press conference on curbing gun violence was interrupted by gun shots. Witnesses say the shots were incredibly loud, though not as loud as the deafening irony.

All My Children star Matthew Cowles has died at the age of 69.

Or has he?

Research shows the obesity epidemic is primarily affecting lower income Americans. No lower income Americans could be reached for comment because they were busy waddling around Six Flags, gnawing on a giant turkey leg, and waiting in line to buy an airbrushed Yosemite Sam tank top.

Miss Nevada has been crowned the new Miss USA.

I must now apologize to Miss Delaware. I actually have nothing to do with the final decision but I will treasure our evening together forever.

John Kerry said that the latest terrorist threats against America are "baloney". Then he went on to shout "Why don't you pussies put your money where your mouth is?!"

Secretary of State John Kerry calls the latest terror threats to America "Baloney". On his lunch-meat danger scale that's more dangerous than salami, but not as dangerous as turkey loaf.

The world's oldest man, an 111 year old parapsychologist has passed away. He now knows for sure that all that stuff that he believed in was bullshit.

The world's oldest man, Alexander Imich, passed away at 111. And the world's youngest man, Declan McAlistair was just born. Oh wait! Correction - the world's youngest man Fan Woo Chung was just born- Wait, no, it's Gaston LeClaire- No! Javier Guitierez- No! It's Takeo Yamashita- No! It's... no wonder they don't keep track of the world's youngest man.

A list of the world's top 25 amusement parks was released this week with Disney's Magic Kingdom coming in at #1.

Not making the list: Kyle's Rape Dungeon.