S1:E1 — Bob Einstein (Super Dave Osborne)

We all know that the Swiss are officially neutral. Unofficially, however, they're filthy sons of bitches.

Remember the old days when 'tweeting' meant stabbing a hooker?

Why is there an app for everything, except how to rape a baby?

Some gold-plated chains would make a nice retirement gift for a very, very good slave.

I can prove God exists! If I could just find that damn receipt from our brunch in heaven...

We could nip 'March Madness' in the bud if we watch for the warning signs of 'Brooding Anti-social February Fever'

This Lindsay Lohan can't swim a stroke but she sure knows every dive in town.

Call me an old softie, but I'd prefer if you call me a distinguished gentleman with a flagging erection.

I remember back when the 'Harlem Shake' was just a black fella holding me upside down off of a fire escape trying to collect his money!

Sure junkyard dogs are mean, but the meanest dogs are generally found guarding concentration camps.

Note: Early versions of Jim Croce's 1973 smash hit 'Big Bad Leeroy Brown' included the line "meaner than a concentration camp dog" but Croce decided it was unpleasant to the ear.

And it was also offensive to Jews, gypsies and homosexuals. Little did it matter, Croce would be dead within the year.

Deep Throat' porn legend Harry Reems died.

How are they going to close that casket?!

Alfred the Great may well be the greatest monarch in the history of England.

The worst?

Richard the Goat Fucker!

Hank Williams Jr. called President Obama a Muslim who "hates the US"

In response, President Obama said, "Why would I hate the US? You guys made me President and I wasn't even born here!"