S1:E7 — Kevin Nealon

Fast and Furious 6 opens next week. The cast is getting a little older, it's less 'Fast and Furious' and more 'Brisk and Peeved'

A good name for a dog is 'Syndrome'. Then when he tries to attack someone you can yell "Down Syndrome!"

I've never gotten a decent explanation as to how Popeye the Sailor Man lost his eye.

In my opinion if we are going to fight the war on terror, a good place to start would be our country's haunted houses.

ZZ Top sang that every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man. But you know what they're not crazy about? Gross long beards.

Movie star and award-winning director Ben Affleck has vowed to live for one day on $1.50 or as Adam Eget calls it "a raise".

In England a woman was arrested for throwing a birthday party for her 16 year old son that involved marijuana, alcohol and strippers. Now she's got an even bigger problem: What to do for his 17th birthday.

Horses must love that they're the go-to animals when saying a guy has a huge cock. I bet giraffes have huge cocks, I'm sure of it. But let's face it, no one's ever going to say "That guy's hung like a giraffe" unless his cock is yellow and has brown spots on it. In which case who cares how big his fucking cock is, he has weeks to live.

Tomorrow is National Secretary's Day. I plan on getting my secretary the same thing I always do.

A big fat goosing!

Remember the good old days back when MILF stood for Mentally Ill Ladies I'd like to Fuck?

There's going to be a broadway musical based on the movie, 'Rocky'. In the broadway musical version, after Rocky climbs the steps of the art museum he goes inside and spends 2 hours looking at paintings.

Tim Tebow's time in New York wasn't a total loss, he had a monument built to him in Central Park.

A bench.

Catherine Zeta-Jones has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Half the time she's Zeta, half the time she's Jones.

A new tabloid rumor: 205 pound Kim Kardashian might be getting paid to gain weight by some weight-loss program or reality show that will then get her to lose weight.

I have a similar deal, only I paid them, and by them I mean Zankou Chicken. And in exchange they give me some Zankou Chicken.

Cats and paraplegics have a lot in common. For starters, neither appreciates being tossed into your neighbour's pool.

They say there's no people like show people, but now scientists have found that show people are genetically linked to the Laplanders and the Finns.